'My son, who has always been very verbal and emotionally expressive, used to come home from school, bounce off the walls, say all kinds of words that I felt were innapropriate, and tell me all sorts of things most kids don’t tell there parents about what he had done and what other kids had done.
When this would cross the line into innapropriate behavior and words, I’d ask him, “How come your teachers say you are so well behaved in school, but you act like this at home?” He told me, “Because I have to let it out somewhere.”
I almost always took everything personally, in a negative way.
But my friends told me, “He feels safe at home and trusts you.” Other kids aren’t like that. It is a credit to your relationship.
But oh, how hard.
Quite frankly, I think people in general have a hard time expressing themselves to the person/institution that is really at the core of their discomfort. And they have a hard time identifying the cause of their anger(s).
My son was, at the same time, more mature and less mature than most people in this regard.'
Don't take it personally
Sometimes it is about their own bitterness, which just has to come out somehow as gossip, other times it is about the faults of their clergy (and we all have faults, there's no denying that), other times it is about perceptions and how they view the world. Do you ever moan and complain? Is that complaint valid? Is moaning or gossipping a proper way of expressing that unhappiness? It may be, but it might also be disrespectful...
I am not posting this because people are moaning, but because clergy regularly are on the receiving end of people's moans and groans... it is part of the package, it's our job to listen to people and to offer them spiritual advice and godly conversation. But do we recognise where they are coming from? Their world seems at times to be a different one from our own.
Think of the occasional person who after a cataract operation can see UV light - it's the same thing, some people's worldview is just totally different to our own, and other peoples.
Sometimes people want to moan and the vicar is a good person to moan to. In these cases this comment about trust from 'Proclaiming softly' fits the bill. Read the origninal post it is worth your time. The comment below was posted in response to it.
proclaimingsoftly